Fashion or Rerun

If you think this is the first generation to wear hip huggers low riders then you don't know your grandmother.

~Paige von Liber: a liver of life, no not the organ, has a blog—shocker I know, Paradise Valley 2 … Hell's Mountain http://paigeofabook.blogspot.com/

Bad Debut

If the camera adds ten pounds, then I looked like I was being filmed with ten cameras.

~John likes this site!

Oddity

If you want something, then pretend that you don't, and you'll get it.

Mr. Sandman

If your elbow's on the table with your chin pressing into your palm, then Mr. Sandman is not far.

~TherMumz

A Hole in Your Pocket

If you have a hole in your pocket, then you won't lose money, like most people think, because what money can fit through a hole? But you'll certainly lose your chapstick.

The Super Bowl

If you carry too much of an obnoxious swagger, then you're destined to stumble and fall.

Pedicure

If the shoe fits, then you've cut your toenails.

~TherMumz is one of the best writers who has never been published.

The State of the Union

If you build it, then you have wasted tons of money that you could have saved had you bought it from China.

Humility

If everyone was a millionaire, then no one would be rich.

UFOs

If you see a UFO, then you probably spend your Saturday nights at Wal-Mart.

Move

If you think it's cold, then cash your reality check for a flight to Syracuse.

Perception

If you only keep your eyes on the target, then you won't be aware that others are keeping their eyes on you.

Current Events

If you can cry, then you are on the way to becoming President.

Geografolly

If the South Americans got a vote, then most planned obsolescent products wouldn't be "America's Favorite."

Ethereal

If you believe in an illusion, then it can hurt you.

Devolution?

If your arms fall off, then you'll have to swim like a tadpole.

The Sad Truth

If you take steroids, then you can make millions writing a book about it.

Titles

If your local newspaper has a cool name, then you're probably not from Earth.

Location, Location, Location

If you find yourself in Delaware, then don't order Mexican food.

Hand-Me-Down

If the glove doesn't fit, then you should give it to your little brother.

Truth

If I stop thinking about her, then I'll be able to sleep at night.